Travel was never something that was encouraged in my family. My parents have never been abroad, the Isle of Man was adventurous for them. They are perfectly happy in their own little bubble, and that’s fine, but it’s not what I want. A quote I heard recently and have been saying ever since; ‘there is no right or wrong way, it’s all about choice’. The difference is, I respect their choice, I’m not sure that they will respect mine, they’ve already made it clear that they don’t like the idea.
Being brought up in that environment, travel was never something that had really crossed my mind. When I met Andy he’d just returned home from a three month trip in South East Asia. Hearing his stories of adventure opened my eyes to new exciting possibilities. The more I thought about it, the more restless I got. The urge to go was suppressed by regular holidays but after returning home from Sri Lanka I was miserable, I still am miserable. The thought of continuing on this merry-go-round depresses me.
For years I’ve wanted to work my way up the corporate ladder, driven mainly by financial gain rather than happiness. I thought becoming an accountant and earning more money would make me happier, but I don’t want to be an accountant anymore, I don’t even like maths! Every day on the drive to work I ask myself “why am I doing this”? I don’t want to bust my balls five days a week, forty seven weeks of the year in return for fives week annual leave (and that’s a generous amount of leave compared to other companies), not to mention the studying I have to do in my spare time. What is all that in aid of? A big house with a big mortgage to match, a fancy car, designer shoes, a two week 5* all inclusive holiday once a year? At one point, I thought that was what I wanted, why wouldn’t I want it, everyone else I know does? I don’t want material things any more, I’m not interested in keeping up with the Jones. I want to experience the world for all it has to offer, immerse myself in culture, learn new skills, meet new people and help others.
Am I scared to go? Of course I’m scared! Going in to the unknown and stepping outside of your comfort zone is a frightening thing for anyone to do. I’m worried that our money will run out quicker than expected. I’m worried that me and Andy will be under each others feet and argue. I’m worried that we won’t find work. I’m worried what will happen when we come home. My biggest worry however, is that if we don’t go, we will regret it!