DIFFICULT GOODBYES

Last week I wrote ‘things I’ll miss about home’, this post was a more light hearted post about the things I’ll miss minus the obvious.

Since writing that post, I’ve been thinking about the more obvious and difficult goodbye’s that I’ll have to make when the time comes.

I’m not overly close with my family, we have very little in common and I certainly don’t talk to them about the things in my life that matter, including travelling. That said, I will of course still miss them. Even though I don’t necessarily see them on a regular basis, it’s comforting to know that they are only down the road if ever they need me or vice versa. Neither of my parents are in particularly good health; my Mum has rumourtoid arthritis and suffered a broken back last year after falling from some scaffolding. My Dad was run over by a car before I was born which left him life changing injuries to his leg. Despite their ailments and being in their 60’s, both still work full time running their own business. They are incredibly independent and never ask for help which worries me. I know that if one of them was ill during my trip they would rather hide it from me than worry me. I’d hate to not be there for them if something was wrong but selfishly I’m not willing to stay on the off chance that something might happen whilst I’m away. My brother lives locally and works within the family business, seeing them on a daily basis. Knowing that he’s around for them eases my mind a little, but other than him, there isn’t anyone else they can rely on.

There won’t be many “goodbyes” in terms of friends, I could count them all on one hand. Keeping in touch can be difficult at the best times, everyone (including me) is so busy with their own lives, it’s so easy to lose contact. I have no doubt this will become even more difficult when I’m living in a different country. Staying connected with friends during my travels is something that’s really important to me, it’s part of the reason I started this blog. With most of my friends having already started a family it’s unlikely they will be able to visit, writing this blog is a way of them being able to experience a little part of my journey with me (although no one knows about my blog yet, I’m keeping it on the down low for now). I’ve always found making friends difficult as I’m naturally quite shy until I get to know someone, this is something I want to try work on whilst we travel. At home me and Andy have very different hobbies and often spend our weekends apart. I’m conscious of the fact that we will be spending a lot of time together so, making friends and having some time apart to do our own thing is a must.

My most difficult goodbye will be my horse, Enya. Horses are bought and sold all the time (particularly competition horses), I myself have bought and sold many horses before. Enya is different though, she’s been with me since she was 18 months old, she’ll be 8 at the end of this month. Everything she’s done, she’s done with me. I was the first person to sit on her, ride her, jump her, take her to her first competition and so on. Whilst she is a competition horse, she is also a pet that I love almost like a child. She costs me a small fortune and it would make more sense to sell her on now but, I just want to enjoy our last summer together. What makes this even harder is that after a lot of setbacks we are finally starting to get to the point where I’ve wanted to be for a long time, with some big competitions lined up over the next couple of months. Walking away will be difficult, I’m certain I’ll be a blubbering wreck! Horses have been such a HUGE part of my life for as long as I can remember, not having one in my life will be difficult.

All of these goodbyes, be it from this post or my post on the less obvious, are goodbyes that we all have to make when deciding to travel or live a nomadic life. We miss out on people’s lives, and them on ours. It’s up to us to decide if what we gain from travel is worth more than what we lose? To me, at this moment in time, it is. Maybe when I hit the road I’ll think differently, who knows?

Have you had to say some difficult goodbyes? How did you cope?

21 thoughts on “DIFFICULT GOODBYES

  1. koalatravelstheworld says:

    Hey aysha, beautiful post! Would love to see a picture of your horse!! Also love your writing style! Following your blog, where are you headed off to in Asia, and how long is your trip? Singapore is awesome! (ok i’m slightly biased hehe)

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  2. Tara says:

    Great article! I have had some difficult goodbyes, but have come to understand that they are a part of life. I find when a life choice is really hard to make, it means that it is the right one. You are about to have the most amazing experience and meet new people you will bond with. And the beautiful thing about having people that love you, they will be there with open arms ready to hear about all of your adventures when you return.

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  3. Reading the Book says:

    I love this really honest post, Aysha. There are definitely a lot of hard goodbyes to make if you want to travel long-term, but friends and family are always inside your phone (that’s how I think of it anyway!) and an instant message away. It sounds like the experiences you will have, with people who love travel just like you, will be worth the downsides. Good luck! 😊

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  4. Danie says:

    Pets are always some of the saddest goodbyes. You know they don’t understand the asme way a person would.

    Don’t worry too much about staying in touch with the human- as long as you get back in touch when you’re back! I have certain friends I chat with or skype with, but most of my friends at home are happy to see me when I’m there.

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  5. kad8585 says:

    I would probably miss my horse the most too. I don’t have that many friends and am not close with my family either. I dunno. I think it’s cliche but I always think of it as see you later and not really goodbye. But thank you for your honesty because I can relaly relate and wish you the best for the future!

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  6. Iva says:

    My most difficult goodbye (or better yet, see you again sometime) was when I had to leave my family when I got married. It’s a happy moment, being with my husband, but also bittersweet for not only did I have to leave home, but I had to move countries. We’re so close in the family and every now and then, I would miss the warmth of being with the people I grew up with. So hard to be far from people you love.

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  7. Carola says:

    I have been traveling long-term for 6 years, 3 of those completely nomadic (without a home base) and I never felt I was saying goodbye to my hometown and the people there. Today, with the technical advances the Internet has brought with it, everyone is just a Skype call or Facetime away, I see what peeps are up to on their Facebook and Instagram, we message on WhatsApp… The only thing that’s missing is a spontaneous “Do you want to grab a beer tonight?”
    I sincerely hope that you guys manage a good rhythm that allows you to meet other travelers when you’re on the road. It’s amazing how quickly you can forge close relationships (at least for a few days) with strangers that just happen to stay in the same accommodation or take the same tour. That’s something I really don’t want to miss anymore.
    Your horse is a different story, though… I hope you find a wonderful new home for her and enjoy your last months together!
    Happy travels!
    C

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    • Any Place But Home says:

      It’s good to hear that you don’t feel like you didn’t feel as if you were saying goodbye, I hope I feel the same. The horse will definitely be a different story 😦 but I’m sure what I will gain from travel will make up for what I loose.

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  8. Joy Generoso says:

    Just like you, I also experienced the most difficult goodbye. When I got married I need to join my husband in the Middle East. Leaving home wasn’t easy, however the most difficult one was to leave my dog Scoopy under my parents care. He got very sick when I was away and I didn’t had the chance to take care of him during his last days. Which made me very guilty. I don’t know if I already coped up but just a thought of him made me sad and in tears.

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    • Any Place But Home says:

      It must have been difficult for you but, it must have been comforting knowing your parents would have looked after him well. I don’t know where Enya will end up, if like to think it will be a good home but it’s hard to judge people. I have no choice but to sell her as the money I’ll make from the sale will pay for a year’s travel.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Joy Generoso says:

        Yeah, but somehow I can’t avoid to feel guilty for him. He died in the Vet hospital due to kidney failure. I wish I could have brought him home and let him sleep on his bed with me beside him until his last breath.

        As for Enya, if in case you’ll end up selling her, I’m pretty sure the person who bought her will love her the way you cared for her. Btw, did you named her after the singer Enya? just asking because I love Enya’s music. 🙂

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  9. minnesotayogini says:

    Loved this honest post. I love reading about the connection you have with your horse! The great thing about the world nowadays is that friends and family are just a message or call away! I recently moved away from my friends and family (not very far) but it has hardly made a difference in our relationships because we can always contact each other when we need! =)

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  10. What's Katie Doing? says:

    I don’t feel goodbyes too badly, but I do tend to miss people when I am away from them. I’m sure it will be hard saying goodbye and not seeing Enya though..

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